Child's Play
by PipunsoberArwenscantily
Summary: 3x12, 2xH, possible hints at others. Something happens and the pilots turn into...
1. Chapter 1

Disclamer: Don't own anything but this comp and our stories. Bite me.  
  
Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, weird thought/ideas, baby-talk, brief moments of nudeness and er...other stuff. Chibi-talk. You know, with extensive lisps sort of thing. It could get a little confusing, so be careful. However, this story is side-splitting at times, with off-color humor and stupidity. Poor poor poor them.  
  
Pairings: Trowa+Midii, Duo+Hilde, Wufei+uh...no one. Heero+Someone? No one? I forget...^_^;;  
  
Chibis Fic...for lack of something better to do.  
  
By Pip and Arwen  
  
***  
  
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGG*  
  
"Goddamit...Who the Hell set my alarm fo' four thiwty?" Duo groaned and rolled out of bed, knowing from experience that it was only a short drop to the pile of manga books and video games below. Possibly with a PB&J sandwich or two mixed in. "...Ow..." The fall had seemed...farther...that time. But he was sure that he was still in the right room. The evidence of a half melted slice of pizza stuck to his foot. "Shtupid pizza, I shudda eated it last night." he moaned, and his eyes widened as he realized what he had said. " 'Shtupid'? What the Hell?!" There were a frantic few moments when he raced to find the light switch, then, turning on the overhead light, he climbed over plies of junk to get to the floor length mirror in his room. He saw...himself. Looking perfectly normal. A little freaked out still, but normal. Relaxing, he was about to head back to his bed, when he noticed something. He was smaller. "Oh...SHHHIIIITTT!!!!""  
  
***  
  
Duo's cry woke up Wufei, who was...or HAD...been sleeping in the room next door. "Baka...waking me up at shuch an early h'our." Wufei continued muttering as he walked through the open door into his bathroom, not bothering to turn on the light. He would just brush his teeth, and then go meditate till breakfast. Feeling around for his toothbrush, he realized suddenly that he could not reach the top of the counter. "Kisama, Maxwell! What is wrong with this woom????" he gasped, looking at his hands, which were MUCH smaller than usual, or so it seemed. He looked around. The counter was farther away, but everything else seemed...closer. He jumped up, trying to get a glimpse of the counter top. "Maybe I just whent to a diff'lent bathwoom" he said to himself, and slowly exited. But everything in the hall looked the same as always, just closer, and somehow, farther away... "...W-what's gowing on..."  
  
***  
  
Quatre awoke to the sound of Duo's swearing. Wonderful way to be awoken... As he got out of bed, he padded over to the kitchen, hiking up his pajama bottoms as he went. When he reached the stairs, he took one step, then tripped and fell down. Somehow managing to lose his pants. Picking them up, he thought they seemed much bigger than usual. And he seemed smaller. "I can'th do diss...need thea..." He muttered as he stumbled into the kitchen dragging his P.J.s behind him.   
  
***  
  
Trowa rolled out of bed. Onto the floor, of course. What smart person had set Duo's alarm to four in the morning? Didn't they know that thing could wake the dead? Or Duo, for that matter...rolling his eyes, he sauntered out of the room, in an over sized pair of boxers. Waiiiiiiit...Over sized? I don't WEAR over sized boxers... Glancing down, he assessed the need for ductape. And a visit to the nearest mirror. Quickly.  
  
***  
  
The perfect soldier got out of bed, cursing Duo's alarm. "Fuck this!" he grumbled, feeling for his bathroom door. Which was much higher than usual. Then realization dawned on his now chibi self. "Oh cwap!!!"   
  
***  
  
Quatre wandered back into the hall, cup of tea in hand. It had been incredibly hard to get to the cups, while being three feet tall. Not to mention the troubles of getting to the tea bags... As he wondered what had happened to him, he was walking past Hilde's room, the door opened and he ran right into Hilde, who was surprisingly quite awake and in the same clothes as the day before.  
  
"Why are you soooooooooooo TALL?????"  
  
She looked down, "AHHHHHH!!!! YOU ARE _SOOOO_ CUUUTE!!!" This was all said in a high-pitched girly giggle that brought the others running."What's your name, sweetie?"  
  
"0.0.....mwy name wis Quatwe Webabewa Winner! Mwornin' Hwilde!"  
  
"Hm...You sound like one of my friends...I wonder why?" She shrugged, and then looked at the little group of kids gathered around them. "Er...are these your little friends, Quatre?"  
  
"WES!!"  
  
"Oh, can you introduce me to them?" She got down on her knees and smiled at them indulgently.  
  
"Well, thwis is Wuflei, an' thwis is Twowa, an' thwis is Duo, an' thwis is Heewo, an'...thwats it!"  
  
"Oh...Er...Have I met you guys somewhere?"  
  
"Doi!!!! We wive here!"   
  
"Are you guys related to the pilots, by any chance?"  
  
"NO! We awre the p-pi-pwilots!" Duo stuttered.  
  
"..." Hilde colapsed on the floor laughing.  
  
"But we awre!!!!" Heero exclamed  
  
"Ok, ok...HOW did this...er...`Happwen'?" She snickered  
  
"No idwea, bwut nwow I cwan't mwake bwekfwist." Quatre explained  
  
"Shall we go tell Midii, then?" Hilde asked "Mainly since I can't cook..."  
  
Trowa's eyes bulged out at this idea, sending Hilde into more fits of hysterical laughter, which she quickly tried to turn into a cough. Ignoring the glares sent in her direction, she picked Trowa up, into a piggyback, and then set off down the hall, dragging Heero by the hand and attempting to wrestle away his gun.  
  
***  
  
Midii awoke to the slow creak of the bedroom door opening. Slowly she opened one eye to see a five-year-old staring at her VERY closely in the eyes.  
  
"EEEEEEEEKKK!!!" Midii shrieked and jumped back knocking the blankets back and a very surprised first grader onto the floor.  
  
"Ow..." The Chibified boy moaned, grabbing his braid. "Whacha do THAT fwor?"  
  
Midii took this opportunity to grab her blankets back so as to cover her fairly suggestive nighties. Seeing Hilde, she shouted at her, "WHAT ARE THESE KIDS DOING IN HERE?????"  
  
"I twied to warn you Hwilde, she gwets mad when certwain pweople wakes hwer up..." A cute brown banged boy said.  
  
"Uh...do I know you? You seem very familiar..."  
  
There was a collective silence, which Heero broke by saying, "Bwaka. It's US, idiwot."  
  
She blinked. "Well aren't you CUTE!!!" She grabbed Heero and squeezed him till his eyes bugged out. "But we need to find you some better clothes. I say we head to the mall."  
  
"Er..." Hilde said, "Midii...you DO know who these guys are, right?"  
  
"Um...no." She looked around at the collection of young boys with oversized boxers or pajama tops on. "Oh...My...God....what the hell happened????" She began to jibber madly, glancing around at the now chibied pilots.  
  
"Ywou thwink WE haven't wondewed that, yet?" Chibi Duo glared at her.  
  
"An' now all my clwothes awre too big."  
  
"Poor boys, but how about that trip to the mall?"  
  
"...FWINE, but only cuz I'm nwot fwond of nwudity." Chibi-Wufei said.  
  
"Ok...now toddle on out into the hall, I want to get out of bed."  
  
"Mwe too?"  
  
"Um...sorry Trowa, love, but...well, you're five."  
  
***  
  
At six 'o clock, everyone was semi-ready to get into Quatre's station wagon to get breakfast and new clothes. Lots of staples, tape and glue now adorned the five pilot's 'clothes'.  
  
"Kwisama! You'we making me weawr thwis?"  
  
"Awww...Wuffers! You are so CUTE when you are little!"  
  
"...Shuddup."  
  
***  
  
OK, please R&R! Another story, and this one will have frequent updates, guaranteed! You review, you get a chapter! Easy as that!  
  
-Arwen  
  
Oh yes, Everything's Changing will have a new chapter out soon, and if we get enough requests, Paternity Leave might get one too! 


	2. Chapter 2

OK, back with another chapter! The chibis begin their assault! Oh yes, and Chibi Menchi...all will be explained in due time. Meanwhile...  
  
***  
  
They were outside the nearest Mac Donald's, currently trying to order breakfast for five first graders and two teenage girls.   
  
"Look, what does everyone want? We are almost at the drive through window."  
  
"Ok! I wanna...3 egg mcmwuffins...2 swasage mcgwiddles, and 8 bwekfwast mwacs."  
  
"Duo, you're FIVE. You can't eat all that."  
  
"Can TOO! I did last week!"  
  
"You're FIVE. You _can't_ eat that much now, you'll be sick, and then you'll be in TROUBLE"  
  
"As in TIME OUT."  
  
"...Asshwoles."  
  
"DUO! SHUT UP!"  
  
A voice crackled to life, "Hello? May I take your order?"  
  
"Ok...Too late now...We'll take seven Breakfast Macs, please."  
  
"Please drive through."  
  
***  
  
As the car pulled into the mall parking lot, it was directed into an empty parking space, and then parked.  
  
"Ok guys, you can eat now."  
  
*Munch Munch Munch* "...What? We weren't swupposed two eat yet? Oops..."  
  
***  
  
Inside the mall, straws were being drawn to see who got the group of three.  
  
"...Damn you, Midii."  
  
"Heeheehee"  
  
Hilde sighed. "Ok, because I get more of them, I get to pick first. Quatre."  
  
"Trowa"  
  
"^_^"  
  
"...Can you actually say that..?? Er...fine, Duo. I'm going to regret this..."  
  
"Hey! You...you dwon't wuv mwe anymo'??"  
  
"...It's just that you are...FIVE. And hyper. Not good."  
  
"HAH! I win! Wufei!"  
  
"Er...Kid with a gun or...Heero. I hate you. You left me with the hyper active one and the one with a deadly weapon."  
  
"Hahahahahaahaaha...I know."  
  
***  
  
"Ok...first stop...the pet shop."  
  
"You are gettwing us a doggie?" Trowa asked with REALLY big eyes, glistening with emotion.  
  
"Damn you Trowa."  
  
The five year old looked at her for a minute, and then began to cry.  
  
"NO!!! nononononono baby, no, no, no, no tears, no more _please_???"  
  
"..." He wiped his face off. "Then will you get me a wabbit?"  
  
"They multiply like...rabbits...but I _will_ get you a doggy accessory...even though you are a cat person..."  
  
"WEALLY?!"  
  
"Yes, and Wufei too" Midii said holding VERY tightly onto both boys.  
  
"YAY!!!!!!"  
  
Upon entering pet shop, Midii purchased two dog harnesses and leashes, then proceeded to attach them to the boys and they finally began their shopping spree.  
  
***  
  
"Alright, lets get you boys some clothes, ok?"  
  
"BOXERS!!!!!!"  
  
"We can look at boxers, but first, lets go buy some PANTS, ok?" She said, brimming over with fake enthusiasm. "Right? You need PANTS!"  
  
"NOOOOOOO I _WANT_ MORE BOXERS!!!!"  
  
"Ok, Duo, sweetie...We can buy boxers, too, ok?"  
  
"I _NEED_ to go, Hwilde"  
  
"...Damn kid, couldn't go at home..." She muttered while searching for the nearest family bathroom.  
  
"_NOW_!!!!"  
  
"Ok...er...if you can hold it, I will buy you LOTS of boxers, ok?"  
  
"Omae o Korosu"  
  
"You don't need to get them, if you don't want to, Heero." She responded while dragging off three five year olds in search of a uni-sex bathroom.  
  
"I wanna 'Big Glup' I'm thristy, oh for lotsa wateryness." Quatre said, pulling on Hilde's sleeve.  
  
Duo begins hopping up and down at this point in time.  
  
"Aha! FINALLY! A frickin' Family bathroom." She grabbed the three first graders and pulled them into the bathroom, picked up Duo and shoved him into a stall.  
  
"Twank Gwod for loose pwants" Duo said he relieved himself  
  
Hilde was standing outside the stall, hands over her ears singing to herself.  
  
"Hwilde? Hwiiiiiiilllllllldddeeee..."   
  
She opened her eyes. "What is it, Duo?"  
  
"I cwan't weach the faucet."  
  
Shoving aside all thoughts of, EWWWWW...he didn't wash his hands when he touched me, she picked him up by the armpits and placed him on the counter.   
  
"There. Good now?"  
  
"Yeps!" Duo replied before falling off the counter onto Quatre  
  
"Eek! Duo, Quatre! Are you guys ok!?!"  
  
"Yeps! I'm Fwine!!!"  
  
Duo seemed all right, while Quatre started to cry.  
  
"S'not fair! _I_ gots squiwished!"  
  
"Awww! Quatre! Are you ok? Did you get cut?" She asked while placing Duo back up on the counter.  
  
"WHHEEEEEEE!!!!!" Duo yelled as he rolled off again, to land on Heero this time.  
  
"DUO! STOP THAT!"  
  
"Why? It's fwun!!! Againagainagain!!!!"  
  
"Because," she said as she check the others for bruises, cuts ...etc, "if you don't, I won't let you have dessert!"  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! The hworwrors!!!"  
  
"Omaahhh no tickle!!!"  
  
"Duo! STOP THAT!" Hilde yelled as she sent Quatre into the only bathroom stall. "I MEAN it!"  
  
"Fine! But only 'cuz your my _GIRLFRIEND_!!!"  
  
"Not now I'm not. You are FIVE Duo, FIVE!!!"  
  
"Thas snot fair! Age discwiminatwor!"  
  
"Yep. Quatre, you done yet?"  
  
*FLUSH!!!*  
  
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HELP!!!!!!"  
  
"...OH...GOD...Quatre, you better be decent..." Hilde shuddered, grabbed the other Chibis in her left hand and with her other, reached over the top of the stall and unlocked it.  
  
"GWET-ME-OUT!!!!!!!!"  
  
"...Oh...EWWWWWWWWWW...QUATRE!!!!" The only teen reached foward and pulled Quatre out of the toilet.   
  
"...THANKS HWILDE!!!!!!! YOU SAVED MY LIIIIIFEEEE!!!!" A VERY naked five-year old hugged Hilde, and then regained his mature-er-self and pushed her out of the stall.  
  
"...Scarred...scarred for life...Heero, your turn. Just...go in the damned stall."  
  
"Hwn."  
  
Quatre muttered "Dwamn dwamn dwamn, I'm _nwever_ gonna liwe THAT dwown..."  
  
As Heero walked out of The Stall of Doom, Quatre was finishing washing his hands, as Duo was being held VERY tightly by Hilde.  
  
"Go wash your hands, then we can get out of this cursed place and go buy you guys some CLOTHES."  
  
***  
  
So? Please review! We must know the success of this story! More and more coming, so keep checking! 


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